Friday, March 22, 2013

badge of beauty

i was in a ballet class recently and my teacher finished giving another dancer a correction by saying, "you just need to put a badge of beauty on the movement." this phrase really struck a chord with me and i started thinking about how i could learn to place a badge of beauty on my everyday life as well as my ballet life.

this winter has been incredibly busy and a bit stressful. i've spent many days traveling to new york for auditions on top of dancing every day in philadelphia. the trips can be tiring and the outcome is not always what i want. a couple of weeks ago, i had a not so great audition and was just feeling particularly tired and worn out. instead of wallowing, i decided to walk the thirty or so blocks back to the bus stop so i could say "hi" to some of my favorite buildings. the walk was wonderful and gave me the chance to clear my head and have some nice phone conversations with family back home.

at the end of my walk i couldn't help but think about how blessed i was to even be able to spend time in one of my favorite cities. growing up in louisville, i used to dream of spending time in new york. now i can go there basically whenever i want. that walk was a "badge of beauty" on my crappy day...

that was all before i stood in the cold for almost an hour waiting for my bus, witnessed two ridiculous screaming matches and was denied entry on said bus...because i had stupidly(!!!) messed up the dates and bought a ticket for THE DAY BEFORE. at this point the crappy day was back in full force and i felt like i was going to lose it. my fingers were frozen and i decided to just spend a big chunk of money and take the train home. luckily, i had a cute mister to pick me up in philly and bring me home so we could watch the oscars together (awards shows have been a guilty pleasure of mine since i was tiny). all in all, nothing that terrible had happened and my mind kept going back to that glorious walk.

i guess all of this goes back to the gratitude resolution i made at the beginning of the year. when i spend more of my time being grateful, it immediately gives less weight to everything stressful or negative in my mind. over the next two weeks, i'll be travelling to and from five cities and i'm hoping to find plenty of moments of beauty along the way, especially because the days will be busy and full of potential stressors. 

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